Friday, October 30, 2009


This morning when I was driving to work, there's this one black Iswara aeroback behind me, sticking so near with my car, flashing his spotlights on me.. NOT realiasing it's a ONE LANE road and there is no point tailgating or flashing on me as I'm moving the same pace as the car infront of me!!! And we are not slow... we're just not in a F1 race speed.. Well, talk about stupid drivers..

This Iswara then rushed to another lane when we're moving towards a two lane road. This car then stick and flash on another car (Honda) on that particular lane he has just rushed into.. and this Honda driver moved on the left lane to make way for this Iswara.. and before the Iswara go speeding away, this Honda driver put his hands out and waving away as in scolding the Iswara driver.. Hmmm~ I'm not sure if I saw him pointing his middle finger.. I sure hope he did!!!

Upon reaching office, there's a road whereby all cars has got to slow down as the turning is very bumpy..driving fast would make you feel like you're on a roller coaster. Many drivers who have not used this road before, would jam brake as they cannot see the road infront of them (it's like a bump that land your car way down below). In this road, a Waja came rushing behind me.. and yeah, he tailgate so closely to my car like nobody business.. like.. practically GLUED.. can i see his face clearly from my mirror!!! I've got no choice but to go a little fast and change lane (with a lorry on that lane going slow).. When the Waja pass by my car.. He gave me a smirk.. Not that kind of showing-off-smirk, but it's a smile that made him look like he's grinning. I guess he's enjoying himself driving fast on this kind of road. Hope his car suspension go cuckoo later on!!!

When the road rage experience early in the morning seems to be enough for the day, I reached office and find my phone ringing. HARLOW.. it's not even 9.00a.m yet!!! Since that call.. my day have been miserable. I even dreamt about handling customers in my dream last night!!! Is it some sort of a sign??? ...that my Friday would sucks???!!!

Friday, October 23, 2009

I seriously hate you..

If there is one wish granted.. I wish that you and your whole species to die and extinct forever!!!

You freaks me out..

You made me jump out of horror..

You gave me heart attack..

And you disgust me!!!

I seriously hate you!!!

Stupid lizards!!! Stop invading my house, my bathroom, my room.. and my office!!!

First incident, you dropped from the ceiling and landed on me..

Second incident, you blardey lousy lizard with your lousy grip on the wall, slipped down and landed on my pretty face!!! This is blardey gross man!!!

Third incident, you know I wouldn't take to take my shower whenever you, your family or friends is in the bathroom, but when you are in there, you refuse to get out!!! I kept 'shooshh' you away and yet you stubborn lizard stood still on the tiles!!! Mum came to help to halau you and you just ran away in between the doors!!! And you thought I wouldn't dare to squash you by closing the door?!!! ....on second thought, yes you are right.. I don't dare to. But even though when I tried to close the door a little bit to scare you away, you detach your tail!!!! And your detached tail just kept twitching by itself!!! OMG!!! You freaking disgusting creature freaks me out!!!!

And you even attacked me in my office!!! You knew that I'll be wiping my desk every morning.. and you.. you f*cking lizard hid behind my plant SURPRISED me when I remove my plant to wipe my desk!!! You jumped on my desk, gave me a scare and escape!!! You coward!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, October 22, 2009


Hi Blogspot! :P

It has been awhile...I almost forgotten my password to sign in to my own blog!!!

I guess my writing/blogging skill is kinda rusty now.. Finding it hard to start off with my intro or suitable words to continue writing.. Gosh..

Ever since my life changed course, things seems to be very uncertain. Despite having a job now, I still feel like I've not settled down yet, as in.. still feels uncertain. Is this not the right thing for me?

I do hope I have more things to blog about in the future. Life has been pretty boring recently, work, FB, yoga, yam cha and it repeats for the entire week.. and months now.

Kind of miss college life.. Ideas came running to me while hanging out and chatting with my funny classmates. I miss all of you buddies!!!

Gotta get back to work. Till I find time and mood to blog again.. adios!

Monday, August 3, 2009



1 line humour

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway..

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

[22]
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23] Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

[24]
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!


Saturday, August 1, 2009

Wonder why I have all those quotes filling up my blog spaces?

I just need to be reminded...

I need self brain wash...

I need to feel better...

I'm worried, in trouble, and needed advice...

Those quotes are all I have...

Today before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.


Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.


Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.


Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who died too early on this earth.


Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren...


Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.


Before whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.


And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.


But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us is without sin.


And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around.
To: YOU

Date: TODAY

From: GOD

Subject: YOURSELF

Reference: LIFE


This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help.. So, have a nice day. I love you.


P.S. And, remember...


If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.


Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.


If you find yourself stuck in traffic, don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.


Should you have a bad day at work; think of the man who has been out of work for years.


Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.


Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.


Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.


Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.


Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.


Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!


Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Meaningful quotes that I obtained from an e-mail..
Looks like I still have plenty to learn...



I’ve learned… That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I’ve learned… That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I’ve learned… That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I’ve learned… That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve learned… That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I’ve learned… That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

I’ve learned… That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned… That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I’ve learned… That I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I’ve learned… That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned… That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.

I’ve learned… That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

I’ve learned… That just one person saying to me, “You’ve made my day!” makes my day.

I’ve learned… That you should never say “no” to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned… That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

I’ve learned… That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.


I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I’ve learned… That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I’ve learned… That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.

I’ve learned… That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned… That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I’ve learned… That the Lord didn’t do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I’ve learned… That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I’ve learned… That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I’ve learned… That when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve learned… That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve learned… That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.


Saturday, July 25, 2009


Title: Beyonce - Listen lyrics


[Verse 1:]
Listen
To the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can't complete
Listen
To the sound from deep within
It's only beginning to find release


[Pre - Chorus 1:]
Oh the time has come
For my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own all 'cause you won't listen

[CHORUS:]
Listen
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on my mind
You should have known
Oh now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've got to find my own

[Verse 2:]
You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I thought had died so long ago

[Pre - Chorus 2:]
Oh I'm screaming out
For my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worked
into your own all 'cause you won't listen

[CHORUS] [Bridge:]
I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't
If you won't

[CHORUS 2:]
Listen
To the song here in my heart
A melody I start but I will complete
Oh now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you think you gave to me
But now I've got to find my own
My own...


(the voice inside me is struggling to be heard... so just listen!!!)

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

It is Tuesday. And yeah.. my day started with a fright!!!!!

As usual, I brush my teeth, grab my towels, and head to the bathroom, unaware that the bathroom would be the place of horror today!!!

I entered the bathroom, took off my pajamas, and turned around to shower.. and then I saw…. A WORM!!! A black, and blardey long worm, its about 4-5 inches I guess!!! It was sticking in the line of between two tiles, and it was so obvious when its head was moving down… ARGGHHH!!!

I screamed and shouted for mum “MAK-EE!!! AHHH… MAK-EE AHHH!!!” while covering myself with towel and run out from the bathroom, continue shouting for help.

So worm vs Joyce = Joyce surrender!

Mum ran out from the kitchen and look for what I claimed to be a worm, and instead of consoling me, she said “It’s not a worm la.. worm won’t be so long and black one.. should be red.. this is a baby snake!”.

AHHHHH!!!!! Snake?!!! What?!!! You said SNAKE??!!!

Mum discussed with dad on how to “dispose” this ugly, slimy, freaking scary creature.. mum said it’s better to throw the snake into the toilet bowl and flush it, and dad said just open up the floor trap, splash water on it till it drops into the floor trap.

Mum did just that. And the snake is gone. But my phobia and fright is still there! I can’t even make myself to put my leg to enter the bathroom! The idea of snake being in the bathroom is still there! I even consider not to take my bath and just go to work, but mum said “Mai siao la! Bho liao la!” meaning “Don’t be silly! It’s gone!”.

This time, snake vs mum = Mum won!

So I push myself to forget about the snake (which is damn hard), and concentrate in taking my blardey shower and go to work! I tighten the tie from my towel, and clip my hair up (my hair was reaching waistline length). While I was bathing, I kept feeling like there’s other things in my bathroom. And I kept feeling that there’s something sticking on my back/shoulder or something falling down on me (imagining the snake is still there, and crawling up to my body). I turned around and looked at my back – nope, it’s my hair. Feel it again, looked back – yup, it’s my hair. This continues till I finish my bath.

Damn the snake, and damn the rain that leads all sorts of creature into my home!

This evening I’ll definitely get dad or mum to inspect the whole bathroom before I go in for my shower. Agghhhh…


Tuesday, July 21, 2009


hAve a bLAsT!!!


About Marriage - Part I

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night ......... whether you're here or not."

(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)

************************************

Marriage - Part II

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "


"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"


(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

******************************

Marriage - Part III

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)

******************************************

Marriage - Part IV

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

**************************************

Marriage - Part V The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

MUAHAHAHAHA~

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


.... was having a great day since morning, until now!

Early this morning, I cheer myself up and try to be 'semangat' by putting Pitbull, Black Eyed Peas, Lady Gaga songs loudly.. well, it works! I shake shake and sing sing.. Got a happy mood to drive to work, then to start work, to be at work, and to happily leave office after work..

Then the whole day spoilt coz I care too much about what my parent say about me. Why am I so easily affected by what my parent says? If they just complain something about me, habis lah my whole day.. Does their opinion really mean that much to me? Don't understand why daddy can be so harsh for just a careless mistake I did.. as if like I cause any damage to anyone or anything.. in fact, there's no damage at all!!! Why couldn't he be satisfied with my progress and encourage me instead of patahkan my semangat everytime I'm trying to do better?!!! Why??!!

ArGGHHhhh!!! Sien ahhh!!!

Mandi-makan-tido.. no mood for anything else!




Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The tagline of this blog started with the saying "this is my life...", but I've never really mention much about my life.

The below essay has been written last few months. It was supposed to be in a private blog. But I've decided to disclose the post as IT IS my life. I would like to apologize in advance if my writing offended anyone. It is something from my own perspective, and IT IS my life I'm talking about. No hard feelings k?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

April 2009

My world looks perfectly fine in the eyes of others. But when they peep through the hole, or finally open the door to enter my world, they might actually realize that my life is not as good as they thought, nor as bad as what I might say.

This is about my life.






















The cute me with rounded nose..

Born in a family of 5, and being the youngest, is something people would admire as the youngest one always get the best, in terms of most attention by parents, as well as loved by elder siblings. I am happy to say that I have 3 elder brothers and 1 elder sister to love and care for me. Regardless of having so many brothers and a sister, secretly I admire others for having maybe not as many siblings as me, but that particular one or two brother/sister would make their world a better place. A good sibling is like your best friend forever. My girl friends like Alicia, Jesreena and Jennifer, hangs out with their sister most of the time. When they are out together, nobody would realize that they are actually siblings as there is an obvious mutual friend-to-friend relationship. These sisters relationship enable them to talk about just anything and to be kept secret between themselves. I envy this relationship. Stupid to say, but I would trade all my 4 siblings, just for 1 good sister who is also my best friend forever. Talking about how desperate I need a friend uh?
















Me me me!!! 7 months old lookin baby.. :)

















Mum, sis and eldest brother holding me..






















This is my tall and skinny second brother... well, he's still tall but he ain't skinny no more.. haha!!!
















3rd brother holding me.. with mum and sis!

In my world, my family is not the closest person to me. In fact, they know nothing much about me. My siblings are 10 to 20 years of age gap with me. When I was a baby, my brothers have already gone through their teen’s life. And when I’m a teenager, they are already a parent themselves. However, I do have my sister to accompany me through few years of my life. I still have a clear flashback of how she brings me to the supermarket and buy me my favorites Lego set. And she knew I love pizza, and so we have it quite often when she started working. But things went back to the same usual atmosphere when she got married and moved out from home. To sum it all up, I have a pretty sad and lonely childhood with nothing much worth to remember about. I don’t recall if there is even once if I did approach my siblings to talk about my problems. I was brought up to cry my problems out, alone on the bed. Which they don’t know of, and thus it seems to them that I’m a problem-free child.


The little baby there is Gina, my cousin sista!

Sis : Joyce! Look at the camera! Adoi.. bodoh betul budak ni.. I point there, she look here..









My parents on the other hand, sometimes noticed my swollen eye as I cried alot, but did not ask even the simple question “Are you okay, Joyce?”. Being a very typical father, my dad hardly shows any affection, and is a man with very few words. But when he gets older, and when I’m all grown up, I have learnt to communicate with him instead of being afraid of him like I used to. Old people like him tend to complain a lot, with temper flying around like a blind sword. Patience is what my mum and I learnt when dealing with my father. It is clear that my dad is also not the ideal person in my family that I can talk to.


Picture was taken when mum was 7 months pregnant.. see how much joy I brought them. That's how I get my name I suppose..
















The case with my mother is quite unusual. I could say that she is the closest person to me in the family. Being a mother of the only daughter, she loves me very much. She would guard me with her life. But the bad side of this is that she is a very protective mother, sometimes to the extend where relatives actually noticed by the way she is treating me. Although I am old enough to get married, I am still treated like a naïve fragile baby. I heard this is a common case when it comes to motherhood. But this mother of mine is definitely unique. She is a naïve housewife whose belief and faith are for the words of others, but not her own family members. I hardly get to have heart-to-heart talk with her, as it either makes her even more worry about me, or I gave up the conversation because her understanding and suggestion usually ‘piss me off’. I understand that she want the best for me. But what is ‘the best’ is usually based solely on her opinion. It gets on my nerves just by staying at home listening to her ideal way of living. She would expect her daughter to have a stress-free life, and would beg, seriously begging me to take up an occupation as what she deemed is the best. Last few weeks when I visited my 5th uncle at Penang who is down with final stage of colon cancer, in the middle of his struggle where everyone around him is devastated and crying, my mother asked me to take her anti-depression pill. I could not understand why I am not allowed to feel sad, even though it is because of a departed relative. She loved me too much that sometimes I suffocate. The way she loves me however does not includes understanding me, listening to what I want, or just listen to my opinion. And the way she expect me to live my life is giving me pressure instead. Ironically, she is the one who want my life to be stress-free, without knowing that she is the main source of where my stress comes from. I believe if she let me fly with my own wings, I could be happier and lead a better life like what she want me to have.


My parent.. undeniable they love me with all their heart!!! Lucky me~











My all grown up siblings, and me still gee-na-sai!













When I was young, till my time in secondary school, I was a very unhappy child. There is no one for me to play with, or to talk to. Being so isolated at home, with silence most of the time, I had forgotten how to communicate. This leaves a major problem that affects me throughout the days of growing up in school. I never have friends. Same as at home, there is no one in the school for me to mingle with… Having no friends at school, I usually make up excuses for not going to school. But I would never stray outside. My parents knew, and allow me to skip classes and watch the television at home instead. Although having the worst attendance in the school, and my parent being called to the headmaster room twice, my grades are usually impressive. Having a natural talent I guess, gave me much more disappointment when I wasn’t allow to further studies after Form 5 due to family financial problem.

My parent justify their decision with a very typical reason “Girls do not have to study that much! Go to work, find yourself a good husband, and you’ll be stucked at home taking care of your kids! Why study so much?”. It is this words that brought me to work at Star Cruises, a travel services company that offer cruises and casino onboard. From a teen who seldom speak to others, I was forced to learn languages that are foreign to me although I’m a Chinese myself. Being in the customer services department, I communicate using English, and 3 other Chinese dialects. Talking, talking and more talking is what I did. Time passes, and I forgotten about my plan to study.

But I was glad for the time I’m there. Because there, I found friends. And not only friends that I’m thankful for, it is the ‘soul mate’ I found there. Nick is my first boyfriend. And I could say that it is my upbringing, lack of exposure from lacking of communication, and being a naïve girl that brought me together with him. Time spent with him is like fairytale, as I felt like I’ve flown out from my cage. Everything seems to work well for me, as predicted by my parents, I have a stable job, a potential husband, and we might just build a family of our own. (Well, talking about naïve!!! Plain stupid coming to think about it now!!! I'm such an idiot to fall for the oldest trick in the book!!!) However, before the fairytale reach to its happy ending, reality of life and the outside world hits me hard. My sweet time with Nick never last as long as I wanted to. The almost 5 years of courting period leads to misery that leaves me half dead. Mentally and emotionally abused, and I was not being kind to myself, leading to self-torture. Experience with him makes me realize that reality is hard, cruel and mean. I believe it is the first time I truly understand the definition of ‘bastard’ and it is best applied for someone like him.


I can't find a better person than this girl.. Alicia!!!


With some of the girls from our department..


One of the girl's wedding..


Chew.. always there for me!


Ah-pek Hang is the best!!! horray~















This is Nick.. nothing much to say... yickksss!!!

If I am a tortoise, I bet I would have hide in my shell after the break up. But I have no place to hide, and thus I ran away. I rekindled the memories of him whenever I am at my working place, or at home. To get far away from the sad memories, I started that I should have start 5 years ago. Only with loan support from relatives, I get to further my studies at Tunku Abdul Rahman College. I would summarize it as a college for the poor. Getting out from my hometown, and to live in the city all alone gives me a scare at first. Not to mention going into a college at the age of 21 is difficult. Being a very realistic person myself, I often feel ashamed for starting at such old age – compared to those who started right after college at 18 years old. On top of that, when I was laughed at due to my age, I felt more ashamed but I can only smile on the outside. I guess this is how teenagers communicate; they tease, jerk around, laugh at it and call it friendship. Surprisingly, I enjoyed college and the friends I’ve met there. It is something I have always wanted to experience in school, and I am very lucky indeed to finally have a taste of it although in college at 21.




The DAV!!!

Some acquaintance to my dismay is very childish (appropriate for their age), but some impresses me with their attitude and behavior. I casually joined a group of teens, and one particular guy I seen, kind of makes me wonder if he is actually older than me. First impression: kind of good looking, should be English ed, looks like from a well-off family, and kind of old too. I observe his neat dressing, spiky hairdo, nice watch, and Perdana for a college student? Contradicting to the first impression he gave me, he is actually 3 years younger than me. He, from a very nice-to-chat friend, had become my boyfriend till present. He with the big name Vincenzo has also been my companion throughout my studies at TARC. I cannot image what I would do without him. But now with a younger boyfriend, do I think about getting married and have children? It might not be a soon-to-be event for me.


My hero...


My casual friend turned into a very good friend..


...and into my boyfriend! I think he planned it all out!!! Humphh!!!

Frankly, it has always occurred to me if my life would be easier if I choose an older guy instead. Someone who have a stable career to support a family, and whose age is appropriate enough to take on the marriage oath and responsibility as a husband and a father. Perhaps due to the humps and bumps I have encountered in my life, I want an easy way out for once.

But as for now, all I want is someone who love and care for me truly, madly and deeply. I am desperate for a companion, someone who would ask sincerely “Joyce, are you okay?” and has meaning to hear whatever I have got to say regardless of how many days it would take for me to finish what I am saying. I do hope that Vince would love me as the first day he fell in love with me. People changes, and it is in top of my wish list that he would never change his heart and his love for me. Reality in relationship killed me once, I was barely alive when I saw Vince but he brought me back. I hope he will not take it away from me as how he has given hope to me. Family do sucks in its own way in terms of lacking of the function of sharing and communicating, now it is only left with Vince which is something that I want to make sure does not give me the same pain as my family.

Life is only perfect when you have family and friends. Sometimes I wonder, if I die, who would come to my funeral? How many friends would come? What would they say about me? Am I a good person and a good friend when I was alive? Or do they receive the news about my passing from SMS or MSN from conversation such as “Hey, I heard someone from our class at TARC is dead, I think her name is Joyce. Don’t really remember her but I think she’s the petite one”. This thing scares me sometimes. Seeing weddings whereby bridesmaid giving speech about how meaningful her friend – the bride is, made me realize there isn’t no person who is close enough that I called friend that is going to be my bridesmaid if I do get married someday.

Friends come and goes along the way. College friends are only friends in the college. When we are out and about entering the working place, we are then friends to our colleagues. College friends are then forgotten. Same to my friends from Star Cruises, and some from secondary schools. Seeing my friend list in MSN, there are people who were once very close and dear to me. But since we have not spoken for months or years while seeing each other available to open up to a conversation in MSN, I can’t help feeling awkward to start saying “Hello”, and so I never did. This continues, and my dear friend is now merely an online person in my MSN list.


Call him ET as in alien.. haha!



Barry and Alicia..




The flirty, bully and one who loves me.. :P (Sequence from left to right)


People I know later in college.. but the best gang ever! Glad I get to know em..



People above are friends who I know will stand by me when I stumble, trip and fall..


Life has not been easy, and my whole life seems to be toggled up. Deep within me, there is a girl yelling and screaming her lungs out just to be heard.

...to be continued


Age is catching up on me..

Always told others that age doesn't really matter, as long as you're young at heart..

But the fact is that certain stage must take place in certain age.. anything after seems like we're moving in a slower pace, and is useless comparing to others..

Just like men who have a target to be successful and stable in career by let say 30.. ladies too have a target to be married and have children before certain age..

I don't think I can achieve the standard target of a marriage and bearing children.. perhaps mine is before 36??? Gosh... that's old!!!

Never mind lah.. as long as I'm young at heart right? ...and people wouldn't guess that this chubby face of mine is an old lady inside! Haha..

Sunday, July 12, 2009


This week was supposed to be my first week of work, ended up, I worked for half a day and go jobless for the enire week. To my dismay, CSC wasn't expecting me. Something went wrong somewhere and me going there was a total surprise to them! Felt like a complete fool that day! It was one of the worst day I had in my life!!! Made me feel like an idiot... geezzz!!!

But things turned from dark cloudy day to a bright sunny sky in a second!!! On the same day, other company called, offering me something lesser, but I believe is something more relevant to what I am looking for. So I'm officially working starting next Wednesday!!! When pay cheque start coming in, that's when I'll start to enjoy 2 of my favourite hobbies - eat and travel!!! Hoooraaayyyy!!!

Recently, things hasn't been smooth for me. Did I grow up or something? Why isn't things I looked initially not enough for me now? Why do I always feel like I'm lacking of something? Sometimes I wish that I won't grow up.. or should I say grow old?! :P So that I'll keep my expectation lower, and easily satisfied with what I have in life. But in reality... haihhh...

Joyce need to be loved... need lots of XOXOXO... !!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


The past few weeks have been either very dull and boring, or very exciting!

Stayed at Vince house for 2 weeks, and spent alot of money on food! I do feel a little bit sakit hati whenever I hand over the money to the cashier, but the thoughts of me starting work soon, kind of keeps me going more and more for food! Imagine I have a credit card! I would use up all my "future money" eh?!

This is the last week of freedom for me! Gonna start work next week, and it seriously freaks me out! Being so laid back for the past 4years, and going back to the work force soon, its like deja vu! The mixed feeling of being financially independent, but yet a tied up life with not much time to hang out anymore. And not to mention the responsibility of being an employee, no longer a student who are liable to their own academic result. Entering this world means responsible for own self, and the possibility of getting fired! Goshhh... scarie scarieeee!!!

The first payslip is the only thing I'm looking forward to right now.. money money money!!! Earning lotsa money is my mission!!! Ngek ngek ngek!!!


Saturday, June 13, 2009

Being MIA for quite some time now. Most of the time, problems seems too complicated to be written and explained. Emotion conquer rational thinking, and words just don't come smoothly when I tried to type it all out. All I wanted to type are "f*ck, sh*t, d*mn", which will definitely be a start of a very unhealthy blog here. Haha..

I think I've been officially jobless for 2 months now. It took me weeks to get over the fact that I won't be able to finish my Degree, another few more weeks applying for whatever job that comes along, and a week or two to decide my path of career. Well, I would say I won't be joining the Advertising field afterall. The major thing to consider now is how much I would get as a fresh grad in this field vs how much I would be paid for with my 5yrs experience in Customer Service. Well, call me short sighted, but I really do made a clear and precise list of pros n cons of both sides. My age, the financial need, fields that my mum prohibited me to enter etc, guess this is the best decision i can make now.

Am still looking for jobs, and currently placing the biggest bet at CSC, a company Barry worked with previously.

Family issues, well, still there, and can never be solved.

Relationships, hmmm.. spending alot of time with friends and stuff, like it and love it.

Nothing much to be said.. except that.. I'm trying to make the best out of everything given to me now. And making a big effort myself. I am very very very fed up and bored of just sitting there regretting over stuff, complaining, blaming on others etc and doing nothing for myself.

I am glad I helped myself alot recently. Things will get better if I want it to be! No more self pity!

1. Life isn't fair, but, it is still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it..

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11... Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger..

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

Many of the above quotes may be hard to 'digest' when we are down with problems or filled negative energy, but at least coming to think about it making sense, it will somehow leads you to think positively. It works for me.. :)

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Fed up of people who can't talk properly and just shout to another like nobody business!!!

Why people can be courteous to a stranger and so blardey rude to their own family member?!!

LIFE SUCKS!!! DAMN IT!!! I HATE IT HERE!!! Life is the suckest when you have no people to talk to, especially when you have a big family but none you can truly talk to!!!

This part of my life now is suckiest!!!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Many things I wanted to say.. but it's so hard to put in words how I feel.. and kinda lazy to type it all out.

All I know is ever since my plan to UK has been put off last minute, many other things are not running smoothly too! All single plan I drafted for myself has been sabotaged! I wonder if the whole year 2009 gonna be like this?!!

Time passes me by without realizing it, and what I know is.. I'm afraid and lazy to start work. I need more time to re-schedule my things. At the meantime, I wanna spend time having fun.. Going out with friends.. Take some fresh air in a park.. Try some yummy food.. Can I laze around for a few more months..???

So many problems.. did many stupid mistakes.. having dilemmas every single day.. Just so downnnnnn~ Filled with negative energy all around me.. I need to get away!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


About Perfectionism
(courtesy of http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com/)

Perfectionism can be a healthy quality that drives a person to try his/her best and to make the effort to excel. Some people, however, take the strive for perfection too far...and there is a price to pay. Extreme perfectionists are forever dissatisfied; they can never fulfill their own expectations so, in their own eyes, they are always failures. Chronic perfectionism is driven by deep-seated feelings of inferiority and self-hate, and by nature it reinforces a negative self-image. Performing tasks or fulfilling goals becomes intimidating and unpleasant, since the perfectionist knows deep down that the finished product will never meet his/her expectations. So the perfectionist might have problems with procrastination. Perfectionism, then, can become a double-edged sword - the perfectionist is driven by a desire to succeed, as well as a fear of failure which leaves him/her paralyzed.

In all realms, striving for excellence can be beneficial and lead to a fulfilling professional and personal life. Accepting nothing less than excellence, on the other hand, can be emotionally scarring.



Results of your Perfectionism Test


Perfectionism
Your score = 73/100


What does your score mean?

According to this test, you have some perfectionist tendencies that may be making you unnecessarily unhappy. You sometimes set high standards that are difficult to meet; either you impose those expectations on yourself, others, or a combination of the two. You may even think that others expect you to be perfect. While a desire to do your very best and strive to reach your full potential can bring you personal fulfillment, you have to learn when good is 'good enough'. It's important that you strengthen your ability to distinguish between reasonable aspirations and unrealistic demands. When you set unattainable objectives, you are being cruel to yourself and denying yourself the rewards and self-acceptance that you deserve.
----------------------------------------------
It's so true that I'm a perfectionist as I'm always restless in making things better for myself. I always felt that I'm not good enough for anything/anybody, and nothing is ever good enough for me. I never settle for anything that is "good enough", and always looking for what I assumed as the BEST. This is a major flaw for a perfectionist, as I'm always pressurizing myself! A perfectionist also are kinda afraid of failure. If I'm not sure about something, I will not go ahead and do it. I need a 100% confidence to start doing something. That's why I am where I am now - zero point in life. Because I'm never sure of anything. I'm always afraid to try something new, and it eventually made me a person with very low self esteem, and with very little confidence. I think I need a super duper strong brainwash!




Sunday, April 12, 2009


I finally took the decision I'm forced to make.. there's no turning point.. but there's deferment though.. not sure if I'm gonna make it next year.. but it's worth a try.. (if I manage to raise enough money by myself)..

The decision really isn't that hard to make. Simply because "no money, no talk" policy, there are no way that I can insist in going. I never saw this coming.. The deposit I paid, weeks of dreadful article reading, stationeries and other stuff I bought to prepare myself to UK.. it's all being put away now.. It's the biggest BULLSHIT that has ever happened in my life!

Besides feeling sorry for myself, I feel really guilty. Jes and I have been talking about cooking there in UK, me to live with her solely vegetarian food, and to make a "party room" and a "study room" if there's a vacant room in our flat. We had alot of laughters and crazy imagination on how to spend our 3-months there. After the fact hits me hard, I realized I won't be able to be there with her to spend the fun moments. It's the first time I felt like I "mungkir janji" to someone, and I can't tell how bad I feel. Although I know that she have plenty of friends there to have just as much fun, I just feel so... hmmm... like "I fong her fei gei".. It's like all those conversation about what we're gonna do there, are lies that I made up. All we talked about is fun, hopeful, crazy, but it's all a lie. This is how I feel about myself.. I know Jes never feel this way, it's just how I feel.. and I'm really sorry about it Jes.. I really do..

Haih...

Suddenly the plan to LJMU is gone.. so what's next for me? To look for a job enough for me to save RM30k in a year time like becoming a sales executive in banks? Or to be a freelance promoter for the whole year?

Or.. if I should concentrate in getting a job that gives me good prospect instead of considering the pay they gonna give me? I'm just so lost..

During internship, I've realized that advertising agency is a "hard to survive" field. The hectic life, never ending task, rushing to meet deadlines and stuff.. it might not work for a simple and laid back person like me. However, if I enter other field that is non-advertising related, isn't my education a waste??!!! Other field may allow me to spend more time with family and friends, but is it worth it to start from scratch??!!!

There are many junctions in life, making a left and right turn makes alot of differences. As it's either gonna bring you to the right destination or being totally lost - possibly dead end!

Never thought I would need to make this decision.. LJMU have always been in my plan list. So it's true that things don't necessarily go as planned.. and you always need to have a plan B. I do hope my plan B will be drafted and executed soon..

*hit my harder and I'll still be standing!!!*

Friday, April 3, 2009

There are 2 sides of me, now whispering to my ears. The angel, and the devil.


http://joycelifebits.blogspot.com/2008/10/3-weeks-of-fun.html

Sorry Joyce that I spent the money that I should be saving, in going to Genting and Bangkok. The 'excuses' I gave to myself is that I need some quality time with good friends after a stressful semester and tough exam papers. And the very last time I go travelling was during my time in Star Cruises.
You know this is bullshit right, Joyce? You don't need quality time in Genting, you can do it in college! And you don't have to go to Bangkok, why not try India instead? We have our very own Little India here to visit.


http://joycelifebits.blogspot.com/2009/01/gonna-say-goodbye-to-setapak-in-few.html

Sorry Joyce for my intention of spending money in my favourite food - yong tau foo, roast duck, beef noodles & ayam rendang.
It's not like you are bored of eating bread and instant noodles everyday.


http://joycelifebits.blogspot.com/2009/01/food-hunting-setapak.html

Sorry Joyce that I actually spent money on yong tau foo, beef noodles & roast duck. And I'm truly sorry to spend RM10 for the movie ticket on Ip Man.
The movie can be downloaded from the Internet for God sake!


http://joycelifebits.blogspot.com/2009/02/from-26-to-16-they-say.html

Sorry Joyce that I spent RM250 to perm my hair.
Your bushy and untidy hair looks kinda sexy in a way. :P

Sorry daddy & mak-ee for not insisting further that I DON'T WANT and I DON'T NEED that expensive dress for CNY.
No comment, the dress is really expensive.


http://joycelifebits.blogspot.com/2009/02/china-here-i-come.html

Sorry daddy for not stopping you from sponsoring me the trip to Guilin. I should have said NO and for you to keep the money. And sorry Joyce for spending some money to buy souvenirs from China.
The 8D7N trip is really worthy for a RM1,100 package - so no comment.


http://joycelifebits.blogspot.com/2009/03/if-i-think-i-cant-im-right.html

Sorry to myself for not be able to have the determination needed to go to LJMU.

Lesson from all this :

  • I should have save as much money as possible, even if I need to just drink water to fill up my stomach.
  • I should have refrain myself from makan besar-besar. Why do I spent so much on myself!!!
  • I should stop giving myself "excuses". I thought I studied hard enough, worked hard enough, and sometimes I need to reward myself. But that's not the case! I know I want to go to LJMU! So why am I spending UNNECESSARILY??!!!
  • Sorry Joyce!!! Sorry to jeopardize your future!!!


Devastated. Don't ask me. Kthxbye.


Hey!!! I'm not finish yet! Joyce, you know what? You deserve it! Now go back to the work force and earn your own money before even think about going to UK!!!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Recently I've been busy attending classes, which actually works like a training for me to foresee what's in store for me when I'm going to UK in May end. And UNFORTUNATELY, what I saw isn't what I want. The word to describe what to expect is TOUGH! Reading 20 pages articles is miserable, but it is more dreadful when we need to critically and analytically analyze the article!!!


I remembered we grumble and complain alot when Ms. Serene gave us 2 pages of article to read, and now its like 10 times more, and to read it in a day time! I felt like giving up, withdrawing might be the better way out of this, rather than waste time, effort & money to go UK and come back failing my Degree.


But out of a sudden, I saw a glimpse of hope! There are classmates who are helpful, seniors who are ready to help if I ask, lecturer who encourage us "If duno, ASK". So I guess I'll be asking alot of questions in order to pass all the 7 modules!


Siblings & Vince too try to motivate the almost giving up me by writing motivational quotes on my notebook! So thank you all of you... Will try.. not try... Will DO my best!


I'm now struggling reading and understanding the journals, with online dictionary as standby. Taking a UK Degree is really not as simple as it seems. Might lose alot of hair, and put on alot of weight (bila stress, makan coklat) !!!


This blog gonna explain why I'm gonna have fewer and fewer post in my blog. As for pictures of my trip to Guilin China, do peep in my Facebook.


And Chin Chuan who kept calling me jellyfish head ever since I have this new hairstyle, the below is the only pic which makes me look more like "Rainie", and look at my face expression! It's obvious that I don't wanna be like her... so please don't call me jellyfish ady uh!!! Gua bagi warning sama lu ha....



Oh ya, *peace* Lee Hom who's comin to Msia!!! Hopefully my part time work will save me enough money to see him!!! So little gaji, but so many things to do with it. Mana cukup? As what ET says "I NEED CASH"!!!
Tata & ciao~ Time to study & save enough energy to work!!! USHHHH... gar yao!!!

Vince : IF you think you can, you can. IF you think you can't, you're right! --> Tak faham.


Friday, February 27, 2009

Geezzz... I was supposed to be sleeping by now! Am catching a flight to Guilin-China at 6am later! And need to be at the airport at 4am! Which means my alarm will be ringing at 3am!!! WAT...??? That's the time when I'll be heading to bed usually! Mum has been nagging me about sleeping late for the past few days, and now my biological clock seems to be ready to sleep at only earliest 1 or 2 am everyday. And I'm all excited for the trip! How to sleep...???

Luggage are all packed - am gonna wear the same clothes for 2days each! Don't think I'll stink coz the weather are expected to be cold! Spring time with showers, highest temperature at 10'C and lowest at 4'C. Thank God I borrowed a long john.. and a VERY colorful raincoat!!!

So ciao~ adios~ sayonara~ tata!!!

Monday, February 23, 2009

This blog is the first to be written and published in my house! Finally got a fixed line at home, took me more than 1 week as promised by the staff, they actually made me waited for 3 weeks!!! Thanks to ET for installing everything, and for saving me RM80 for installation.


The most recent 'happening' thing should be CNY - but it isn't that happening, happy nor merry this year. Kind of bored staying at home accompanied by sunny weather. And the worst thing about CNY is that I did not go back to Penang this year! Gosh.. talking about Penang during CNY! There are so many Hokkien family there at Penang & Butterworth, the offerings they made to 'thi kong' is 3 levels higher than those made in Klang! It's definitely merrier to celebrate CNY there.


Spent a few boring days at Klang, then visited Robin at J.B for 3 days. He's got really fun 'brader' to hang aorund with. Glad to know few more friends that are alike him. Believe me, he's still the Robin-est person I know!


Talking about CNY, I did not get a new hair cut, new dress, new shoe, new bag etc. Those money I saved, is enough for a new hair style - and so I did, but not only when CNY is over, and when the price is back to normal. I wanted to perm my hair since my hair is straightened for almost 2 years already.


The hair stylist Nico asked me "What type of perm do you want? Digital? Spa? Normal?".

I said "I don't know... erm... uhm...".

She continuted "Big wave or small wave?".

I answered "...anything as long as it can tahan 1 year".

Wow.. that's a real precise answer to start with.

After washing n stuff, she asked "How about your front hair? Want to keep it long or short?".

I said "Anything lah.. I believe you know what's best for me".

She smiled and asked "Would you like a fringe?"

I answered "But other hair stylist said that my forehead is too low, not nice for a fringe."

She replied "Nolah.. I can kautim for you. You'll look cute with a fringe."

Me looking confused and with doubt asking "Sure or not? As long as it don't make me look silly then ok lah."


There she goes doing her thing. I did not know what perm that she is going to do, and how she intend to do my fringe. All I know is that it took me 5 hours and i was starving during the 5 hours hair do!!! In the end, after perming my hair, she straightened my front hair! After she's done... I was like... OMG!!! I'm so "rainie"!!!!!!!! I look like those Taiwan lala mui!!!! H*ly cow!!!


Below is a photo of Rainie Yang Chen Ling - Taiwanese singer

This is how my hair looks like now. With smaller wave though. And of course I don't look cute and beautiful like Rainie.. I just happened to be her 'accidental fan' by having exactly the same hairstyle!!! That's why there are no picture of me posted here!


It was already to late to 'undo' everything. But I'm fortunate to keep my hair that is as black as ebony. If I dye my hair, I'll be Rain-ier than ever!


Luckily the majority response I got for my new hairstyle has nothing to do with being Rainie's fan. Most of the people said I looked younger & cuter! Aisheh.... some friends arrived at my house doorstep but didn't recognize me when I signal them to come in - they then explained that they thought it's my niece waving at them. Hmmm... from 26 to 16???!!! *winkie winkie*