distress

Have been very grumpy these few days...

Sometimes it's my own problem that gets me down.. And sometimes is just stupid problem that people is giving me.

And the worst is that I feel very angry of myself for being such as stupid person. Whenever I think about "him", I hit myself on the head and say out loud "I'm a stupid FOOL!!!". Whenever I see places or things that reminds me of him, I go hitting my head and shout again!!! And I've been such a fool ever since.. for 5 long years to be with him!!! Anyone ever been so angry of themselves the way I am now?!!

Love is blind, and I'm blinded by the things he said. I should have put my specs on.. I should have do a laser treatment to open up my blurry eyes! But I didn't.. Instead, I give, give and give him more.. and now I can never take any of it back! How do I get him to return my money?!

I feel so numb whenever I think about him, and all I have right now is just hatred.. no more good memories that worth remembering for.. What I remember him as, is just a liar and b*stard who borrowed my hard earned money without the intention of returning it. And the thing I remembered him most is for betrayal, with his stupid blog about theory of third party (according to him, third party is the true love who comes later). Well, it's a very good "excuse" to cover up his betrayal.

With all these problem going on in my mind, here I am being so angry of something else. It's always easier to be angry, than to be understanding, or to say sorry. So people stays angry because it's easier that way.

I need my money back, I'm seriously broke!!! It's so easy to lend people money, but it's always hard to get it back!!! ARggghhhhh... He's a shitty guy who don't have balls!!! ARRGGHHH!!!!!