Perfectionism

About Perfectionism
(courtesy of http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com/)

Perfectionism can be a healthy quality that drives a person to try his/her best and to make the effort to excel. Some people, however, take the strive for perfection too far...and there is a price to pay. Extreme perfectionists are forever dissatisfied; they can never fulfill their own expectations so, in their own eyes, they are always failures. Chronic perfectionism is driven by deep-seated feelings of inferiority and self-hate, and by nature it reinforces a negative self-image. Performing tasks or fulfilling goals becomes intimidating and unpleasant, since the perfectionist knows deep down that the finished product will never meet his/her expectations. So the perfectionist might have problems with procrastination. Perfectionism, then, can become a double-edged sword - the perfectionist is driven by a desire to succeed, as well as a fear of failure which leaves him/her paralyzed.

In all realms, striving for excellence can be beneficial and lead to a fulfilling professional and personal life. Accepting nothing less than excellence, on the other hand, can be emotionally scarring.

Take your Perfectionism Test here :-

http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com/questions/perfectionism_abridged_1.html

Results of your Perfectionism Test

Perfectionism
Your score = 73/100


What does your score mean?

According to this test, you have some perfectionist tendencies that may be making you unnecessarily unhappy. You sometimes set high standards that are difficult to meet; either you impose those expectations on yourself, others, or a combination of the two. You may even think that others expect you to be perfect. While a desire to do your very best and strive to reach your full potential can bring you personal fulfillment, you have to learn when good is 'good enough'. It's important that you strengthen your ability to distinguish between reasonable aspirations and unrealistic demands. When you set unattainable objectives, you are being cruel to yourself and denying yourself the rewards and self-acceptance that you deserve.

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It's so true that I'm a perfectionist as I'm always restless in making things better for myself. I always felt that I'm not good enough for anything/anybody, and nothing is ever good enough for me. I never settle for anything that is "good enough", and always looking for what I assumed as the BEST. This is a major flaw for a perfectionist, as I'm always pressurizing myself! A perfectionist also are kinda afraid of failure. If I'm not sure about something, I will not go ahead and do it. I need a 100% confidence to start doing something. That's why I am where I am now - zero point in life. Because I'm never sure of anything. I'm always afraid to try something new, and it eventually made me a person with very low self esteem, and with very little confidence. I think I need a super duper strong brainwash!

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...still standing!!!

I finally took the decision I'm forced to make.. there's no turning point.. but there's deferment though.. not sure if I'm gonna make it next year.. but it's worth a try.. (if I manage to raise enough money by myself)..

The decision really isn't that hard to make. Simply because "no money, no talk" policy, there are no way that I can insist in going. I never saw this coming.. The deposit I paid, weeks of dreadful article reading, stationeries and other stuff I bought to prepare myself to UK.. it's all being put away now.. It's the biggest BULLSHIT that has ever happened in my life!

Besides feeling sorry for myself, I feel really guilty. Jes and I have been talking about cooking there in UK, me to live with her solely vegetarian food, and to make a "party room" and a "study room" if there's a vacant room in our flat. We had alot of laughters and crazy imagination on how to spend our 3-months there. After the fact hits me hard, I realized I won't be able to be there with her to spend the fun moments. It's the first time I felt like I "mungkir janji" to someone, and I can't tell how bad I feel. Although I know that she have plenty of friends there to have just as much fun, I just feel so... hmmm... like "I fong her fei gei".. It's like all those conversation about what we're gonna do there, are lies that I made up. All we talked about is fun, hopeful, crazy, but it's all a lie. This is how I feel about myself.. I know Jes never feel this way, it's just how I feel.. and I'm really sorry about it Jes.. I really do..

Haih...

Suddenly the plan to LJMU is gone.. so what's next for me? To look for a job enough for me to save RM30k in a year time like becoming a sales executive in banks? Or to be a freelance promoter for the whole year?

Or.. if I should concentrate in getting a job that gives me good prospect instead of considering the pay they gonna give me? I'm just so lost..

During internship, I've realized that advertising agency is a "hard to survive" field. The hectic life, never ending task, rushing to meet deadlines and stuff.. it might not work for a simple and laid back person like me. However, if I enter other field that is non-advertising related, isn't my education a waste??!!! Other field may allow me to spend more time with family and friends, but is it worth it to start from scratch??!!!

There are many junctions in life, making a left and right turn makes alot of differences. As it's either gonna bring you to the right destination or being totally lost - possibly dead end!

Never thought I would need to make this decision.. LJMU have always been in my plan list. So it's true that things don't necessarily go as planned.. and you always need to have a plan B. I do hope my plan B will be drafted and executed soon..

*hit my harder and I'll still be standing!!!*

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A HARSH LESSON

There are 2 sides of me, now whispering to my ears. The angel, and the devil.

http://joycelifebits.blogspot.com/2008/10/3-weeks-of-fun.html

Sorry Joyce that I spent the money that I should be saving, in going to Genting and Bangkok. The 'excuses' I gave to myself is that I need some quality time with good friends after a stressful semester and tough exam papers. And the very last time I go travelling was during my time in Star Cruises.
You know this is bullshit right, Joyce? You don't need quality time in Genting, you can do it in college! And you don't have to go to Bangkok, why not try India instead? We have our very own Little India here to visit.


http://joycelifebits.blogspot.com/2009/01/gonna-say-goodbye-to-setapak-in-few.html

Sorry Joyce for my intention of spending money in my favourite food - yong tau foo, roast duck, beef noodles & ayam rendang.
It's not like you are bored of eating bread and instant noodles everyday.


http://joycelifebits.blogspot.com/2009/01/food-hunting-setapak.html

Sorry Joyce that I actually spent money on yong tau foo, beef noodles & roast duck. And I'm truly sorry to spend RM10 for the movie ticket on Ip Man.
The movie can be downloaded from the Internet for God sake!


http://joycelifebits.blogspot.com/2009/02/from-26-to-16-they-say.html

Sorry Joyce that I spent RM250 to perm my hair.
Your bushy and untidy hair looks kinda sexy in a way. :P

Sorry daddy & mak-ee for not insisting further that I DON'T WANT and I DON'T NEED that expensive dress for CNY.
No comment, the dress is really expensive.


http://joycelifebits.blogspot.com/2009/02/china-here-i-come.html

Sorry daddy for not stopping you from sponsoring me the trip to Guilin. I should have said NO and for you to keep the money. And sorry Joyce for spending some money to buy souvenirs from China.
The 8D7N trip is really worthy for a RM1,100 package - so no comment.


http://joycelifebits.blogspot.com/2009/03/if-i-think-i-cant-im-right.html

Sorry to myself for not be able to have the determination needed to go to LJMU.

Lesson from all this :

• I should have save as much money as possible, even if I need to just drink water to fill up my stomach.
• I should have refrain myself from makan besar-besar. Why do I spent so much on myself!!!
• I should stop giving myself "excuses". I thought I studied hard enough, worked hard enough, and sometimes I need to reward myself. But that's not the case! I know I want to go to LJMU! So why am I spending UNNECESSARILY??!!!
• Sorry Joyce!!! Sorry to jeopardize your future!!!

Devastated. Don't ask me. Kthxbye.


Hey!!! I'm not finish yet! Joyce, you know what? You deserve it! Now go back to the work force and earn your own money before even think about going to UK!!!

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