Joyce talks too..

It has been a very tiring day.

Started my day with a morning call at 5a.m. Took a quick warm bath, make up, dress up, and complete my look with a hair-bun. Just before I put on my belt and get ready to go, I received a SMS saying that the photo-shoot has been postponed to other day.

Read the message out loud to my mum and she was laughing, while looking at me - all prepared to go. I went back to bed, sleeping still, sideway, not to ruin my hair-do and make up, so that I could still go to work with that.

Woke up 2 hours later, and spent the whole day in the office just like another ordinary day.

Dinner time, had a get-together with family. Good one - as usual. With much jokes and laughter. Guess everyone enjoyed looking at me and my second sister-in law arguing like cats and dogs. But rest assure, these are all part of our creative act, just for fun...

At times, after having a very tiring day, all you want is to have someone to talk to you and ask "how are you". This ultimate question is the only thing you want to hear, as it gives you permission to start mumbling, grumbling.. blah blah blah blah blahhhhh~

Try to imagine, how relief it is having a good listener after a dramatic / sad / angry day. One would be thankful for such a listener. I know I would.

How if a person talks about nothing but themselves. And end the conversation with "bye bye". I really do hope they ask "how is your day", "how are you". But sometimes they don't. It made me wonder "why are there such self-centered person?!". Does everything have to be just about them?

Usually if I were to talk about myself, I'll end my whole agenda by asking "How about you? Had a great day?"... it's like an opening for another person to talk and share too after a whole tiring day.

Was hoping someone could do that for me. You know.. just a simple question "How was your day?".

In fact, only Vince who are still interested to know about me even after 5 years of being together. He has always been a loyal reader of this story book titled "Joyce's Life". Every single aspect of my life still fascinates him at some point. Wonder if he'll finish the whole chapter of this book.

Time to clean off the make-up, wax from my hair, and a good shower before heading to bed.

----------------------HAPPY MERDEKA MALAYSIA!!!--------------------------

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why blog?

Some people blog because they would like to share a certain topic of expertise, like food. Look at how successful KY is! And Patrick on how he talks about politics! And my friend Ongzi who talks about nature and plants. Not to mention the precise info we get from all the IT bloggers! These blogs serves a purpose as a forum for open discussion, which is really good and beneficial!

For others who don't really specialize in anything, like me for instance, will look at blog as a platform to vent freely. It is one personal space to rant whatever dissatisfaction one may have, without the fear of letting someone know about it (if I care, I wouldn't have write it at the first place, make sense??!!!).

Basically, one is responsible for what they write. Bear in mind too, they have the right to say whatever they want. It depends on others / readers on how they feel about a certain post, and react towards it. As for me, I don't really care. This is my space, and I called it "this is my life.. and this is what I have to say".. so clearly, I will say whatever I want to. I also had enough of people who make their judgment too quickly. If they have something against me, there are nothing I can say to make them change their mind -- as if I would try!

The question now is, will my blog be too personal to be revealed in this public platform? Will some psycho get up close and personal with me thru my blog and eventually use it against me and harm me in certain way?

If that's the case, what about people who report about their daily life in their blog? Aren't they more vulnerable?

Regardless of what, I will try my best to put in more positive / happy post here for everyone's' reading pleasure.

Till then, goodnight!

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"WHY MAKE SUCH A BIG FUSS ABOUT ME HAVING A PET DOG?!!!"

Once upon a time, there is one little girl who made a wish, a very innocent wish, which is to have something to call her own. During her childhood, she has got no one to play with. All she wanted, is a pet dog. She kept this dream with her, hoping that she would grow up as fast as she can, to be an adult, to finally have her own say to get a pet dog.

She's 27 years old now. Financially independent. And as an adult, she is taking responsibility about her own life. But the big question here is "Why is her parents AGAINST the idea of her having a pet dog?".


Their explanation...

• Dogs have virus - they might make you fall sick, or even get asthma!
• You're an allergy girl - you may be sensitive towards animal's fur!
• High maintenance - dog food, grooming, injections, and more when they are sick!
• Short life span - Imagine you pour your heart and soul into a canine, and after 7-8 years, they die - how devastated will you be then?!!!

My justification..

• Not scientifically proven - Tell me this only when EVERY SINGLE dog owners have health problem because of their dogs!
• HALLOOOO - I've consulted so many skin specialist and none of them can determine what am I allergic to. I am still allergic to something now, do you see any animal in our house?! So what makes you think I'm allergic to animal's fur?!!
• I'm a working adult - I can afford it, and I don't mind spending on something I love.
• If you are afraid of losing something, you'll never own anything - I rather be extremely happy, get over my depression and loneliness for 7-8 years, then be sad for max, 1-2 years. Do the math! It's worth it! The happiness a canine gives, is PRICELESS.

The verdict..

• They win ; I lose

Reason..

• They are my parents ; and they have final say in EVERYTHING.

What I hate most..

• They never listen.
• They don't know what I REALLY WANT.
• Mum broke her promise, she said YES. I did my research and dog hunting for 2 days. Then she said NO again.
• MAJOR FLAW OF COMMUNICATION WITH MY MUM BECAUSE SHE CONSTANTLY CHANGE HER MIND!!!
• DAD IS FREAKING STUBBORN!!! (that's where I get my stubbornness from)
• My thought about the verdict -- How can we practice democracy in the country when it is not even practiced at home??!!!

What about my dream???!!!

• It's my house - it's my say.
• Even IF I can afford to move out to stay by myself now, parents would not let me.
• So to elaborate on this idea, I need to get married, to move out to a house of my own, then FINALLY... I can have my dog!!! Coz that time... parents are no longer in control of me anymore!!! HORRRAAYYY!!! YIPPIIEEEEEEE!!!
• To get this plan executed, I need at least 5 years (marriage is not masak-masak okay). I might be 32 that time, but it is never to late.

Doggie doggie.. one day, you will be mine!!!

Cavalier King Charles Spaniel (puppy)

Yorkshire terrier (puppy)

Siberian husky (puppy)

Shih Tzu (puppy)

Pomeranian (puppy)



Pomeranian


 


Maltese (puppy)



Golden retriever (puppy)

Toy poodle (puppy)

Now look at them.. so adorable and lovable!!! How can anyone resist them?!! And if they fall sick, how can we find the heart to blame them for making us spend our money?!! I know I won't!!! If they are mine, I would give my world to make sure that they are happy, healthy and safe.

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AXE my EX

I did not get to sleep well yesterday.

Had a bad dream.

In fact, I dreamt about 'him'.

Talking about HIM is no longer a taboo for me. It no longer make me heart feels like it is being stabbed repeatedly, nor makes me sob and cry for what has happened.

To me now, he is a piece of history, and it is a very importance piece as it makes me who I am today. He too, shapes my perspective of relationship. That not every relationship is long lasting, and how short and disappointing it could be. He indeed is my first love, my ex-bf who has been with me for 5 long years, and we broke up when I was 22 years old.

As I said, it is no longer a taboo to be thinking, hearing, seeing or dreaming about him. I can now talk about him freely without any sickening feeling that used to cut me deep into my core. I don't feel like taking an axe and make him mince meat for 'char siu bao' anymore. I'm free as a bird!
So why is it a bad dream... Hmmm... I still can't figure it out. Maybe it reminds me of being rejected / dumped by a person I truly loves???!!!

Regardless of what.. I'm still thinking what it means to be dreaming about him after all these years. :)

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letter2bloggy

Dear Bloggy,

It's good to say that I've been keeping myself busy recently. Spent very productive time at work place, quality time with family over the weekends, and not forgotten, fun time with friends.

I've learned that life is about finding good companionship to pass time with, and it just make "passing time" good!

Life is nothing if is spent being lonely, limited to a confined space, and only making friends online. Don't really know the meaning of it. Probably that explains why I'm not frequently into social networking sites anymore. People hardly see me in facebook, or even MSN now. That is why I DO NOT HAVE A TWITTER ACCOUNT!

And surprisingly, one thing I enjoy now is work! Being so damn busy all the time kind of make me feel "useful". The feeling of being so helpless and dragging myself till off-work time is stressing me out. Thank God I don't have to live through that anymore!

Another thing that keeps work exciting is the people I've known! There are some good people there, very friendly and sincere colleagues... and I like them! This job also involves alot of activities and events. Can't wait to get hands on! Few days ago they asked me to participate in photo shooting. I enjoyed the photo taking session and do hope it turns out well. I was afraid that my chubby fishball face would ruin the whole photo and I will definitely feel bad that money to hire the photographer and other talents' effort go to waste! Really really really hope that I'm contributing to the photo shooting and not ruining it. And I'm so excited thinking about Family Day organized by the company! It's coming next month!!!

Guess I'm in a chatty mood now. No one to talk to at this hour, so yeah...

Am currently having a 3 consecutive days of hoooo-liday. Was looking forward to the trip to Genting but I don't think I'll be going now. 2 more days of holiday to rest at home before the week starts again.

Till the next post, be good, be well.

Love,
Joyce Yap

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silent night

Imagine this..

Me.. in my room, with all the lights switched off, sitting on the floor beside my bed, starring at my mobile which is being charged, just starring at it, blank, nothing on my mind, as if my mind went far deep into the space, accompanied by the only sound exist which is my slow breath, and just waiting there.. for nothing.

I actually think the sight of it is quite scary. Especially in the dark, and the only thing can be seen is my silhouette, with some light from outside near the window. One might think I'm being possessed by a lonely ghost or something.

Then when I was thinking about it, I scare myself because I am actually sitting on the floor alone, starring at my phone in the dark!!! There and then I decided to switch on the lights, and blog about it! I'm one silly person.. Gotta admit it.

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oh durian...

I wish I am feeling better.

I was so tempted by the sight of durian stalls stretching along the road at Balu Belah. If I were to follow my heart and wallop the deliciously looking durians, I would be dead right now.

This poor little kitten was on MC yesterday. It all started with a very bad sorethroat. Then I started to cough and vomit. Diagnosis by the doctor ended with a calling "YOU ARE AN ALLERGY GIRL". Well I guess it's true cause my whole body itches and it has got scar now.. due to allergy, but to what, is still not determined. Doctor said it might be due to dust, as my throat, ear and nose is red.

The 5 minutes check up, 25 minutes of chat between mum and the doctor and antibiotic for 5 days consumption, came out a total bill of RM52. I guess she probably charged for the chatting session with mum. It cost alot to pretend interested while dragging herself over the boredom of chatting with an old lady. So yeah, understood.

Durian durian.. I'll come to you soon!!! I will never be allergic to you my dear fruit king!

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a drunker's post

It is a surprise that I manage to drive home, take shower, wash my hair filled with cigarette stench, and get myself online and to blog here.. when I'm feeling so tipsy!!!

Came back from company gathering. Those promoted / salary increased celebrate their promotion with the rest of the staff. No full attendance though, only 100++ turn up. We had buffet, sing, dance and drink!

Well, I am not supposed to drink. I've made a promise to someone who witnessed the suffering I had for the past 2 days due to my gastric. But being a "newbie" in this company, I believe everyone is trying to get me drunk. I did say that I have gastric and trying not to drink, but really, WHO CARES when they're already to HIGH?!

They even carried me ON MY CHAIR to the stage when the rest is dancing. See how crazy they are?!! I was being dragged to the stage for 3 times, to dance. My senior Moon was being dragged there too. I was laughing like mad when she screamed from the table, all the way to the stage.

Mum and dad was there too. As usual, frequent patron at the executive club. In fact, mum kept approaching me, asking me to dance on the stage. And so being dragged to the stage, I danced with 4 different colleagues. All taking turns to take me over on the stage.

Those not aware of my parents presence, was in shock when my dad went up the stage, and I voluntary sang and dance with him, and when they finally knew that my parents were there the whole time, almost PENGSAN! Some shock hands with my parents. And yeah, 2 of my colleagues, actually joget with mum. They had fun too!

It is a fun night. Still, a miracle that I am still blogging at this state. Had 5-6 glass of beer. Not that it is enough to make me drunk. But really, I was a very good drinker. Don't know what happened now. Perhaps it's the "BOTTOMS UP!!! JOYCE BOTTOMS UP!!!" calling that's causing this.

Am waiting for my hair to dry up after shower.

Shit. I'm so blur.. feeling tipsy.

Called Vince. He did not scold or lecture me. Nothing near to that. He's actually glad that I'm bonding with my colleagues. And he said he trusted me. Saying that I would know when I need to stop drinking. Calling me "kia su" but in a good way, protective of myself. But really, I know I need to drive home. So I know my limit. I hope others would trust me too. I know mum don't.

It really is a great night. I hope I will continue to have fun while working with this company.

Mum and dad is still there. Talking about enjoying their retirement! As for the young me, I came back home early to take bath and get my beauty sleep.

Head spinning. Eyes closing. Hair still wet. Should I crash to my bed?

Ah shit..

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new place to work

It was my first day at work.

Like the familiar faces there.
Like the fact that it took me less than 25 minutes to work.
Like working IN a bungalow converted into an office.
Like the buggy ride to lunch.
Like having free lunch as we're given RM150 meal voucher every month.
Like the food and cooling environment in the clubhouse for lunch.
Like the very clean toilet in the office!

Dislike having my car parked outside under the hot sun without any form of shade.
Dislike that I sensed distance with some colleagues.
Dislike that people there is not as silly, crazy, nor friendly as I am (I think I need to more time to explore the inner them).
Dislike the traffic jam on the way home.

Tired. Sleepy. Goodnight! :)

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