Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts

Monday, March 11, 2013

You know your diet plan is not gonna work is the diet plan seemed lesser than your food hunting plan.

And I know I ain't Tom Cruise. To lose a few kilos is nothing but a Mission Impossible for me.

Food is just irresistible!

Whatsmore having friends who say "Hey I've gotten to know one place that serve really good food, lemme bring you there!"

Me... "OWWWWwwww YESSSSsssss!!!"

(inspired by the 300 Spartan Puasa video below)



This time around Chriz brought me to Food Foundry.

What attracted me is when she said "The restaurant is located at the Ground Floor of a flat block"

Photo below was taken right below we left.
Should have taken one when I arrived.
Soweeyyy....


We arrived at 6.30pm and the place was almost fully occupied.
Talk about popularity!


Ambience

The place is nice, neat, with wall paintings, and IKEA-like decos.




joyce yap blog joycelifebits
Always with the Chriz smile!


Joyce Yap blog
Swimmer broad arm is spotted in this photo. YAY!!!


Food

With selection of appetizers, salads, main, desserts, and drinks,
I have confident that this place is gonna impress me,
judging by the number of patrons that day,
hope they have got good taste in food!


Ordered myself a prawn and brinjal pasta.

The main ingredients such as prawns and brinjals are fresh and nicely cooked.
But the pasta tasted a little bit spicy, and that's all.
It needs more flavor and herbs.

prawn and brinjal pasta


Chriz had a cajun chicken burger.

Took a bite - the grilled chicken is too dry.
And should add at least a piece of cheese on it.
Would taste better.

cajun chicken burger


And we ordered the latest dessert trend - blueberry cheese mille crepe.

Seriously?
What's with people and mille crepe recently?
First there's Secret Recipe, then RTs,
then macaroons,
then colorful cupcakes,
now mille crepe?
Well prolly I haven't tasted good mille crepe yet to change my mind.

The mille crepe at Food Foundry didn't manage to convince me into the mille crepe craze.
Tasted like layered cake - nothing special.
Chriz told me that the vanilla and chocolate mille crepe taste better.
May try that out someday.

mille crepe blueberry cheese

So food wise, I'll rate it at 3.5 / 5.00 only.

Second time to come?
Maybe... :)


Location:-

BG8 Happy Mansion,, Jalan 17/13, 46400 Petaling Jaya, Selangor

Phone:03-7955 3885




joyce yap blog joycelifebits
Say CHRIZZZ!!!




Friday, December 7, 2012


Lady : Do you smoke?


Man : Yes


Lady : How many packs a day?


Man : 3 packs


Lady : How much per pack?


Man : $10.00


Lady : And how long have you been smoking?


Man : 15 years


Lady : So 1 pack cost $10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be $10,800 correct?


Man : Correct


Lady : If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000 correct?


Man : Correct


Lady : Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?


Man : Do you smoke?


Lady : No


Man : Where is your fucking Ferrari then?



funny swt expression


Saturday, September 15, 2012


Okay this is something from Russell Peters that remains funny although I've seen it for like a hundred times... Including this too!

HEYYY!!! HEYYYYYY!!! HEYYYYY!!!! HEY D*CKFACE!!!!

Can't believe Alex.C imitate this and attracted the attention of other guest at El Cerdo! And not to mention winding down the car window on the road to make a fool out of himself with this... Ahhhh....  I just miss laughing at my ex-bf silliness... Hahahahaaa!




Hey.... Hey Dick Face......
Ya U.....

Whr The f*** u get the ballz to look at my girl......


Whr the F***....

Lemme ask u a question.... Whr the F***.....Whr....

Whr the F***....do u get the balls... to look at my girl...whr...

I'm lik wht????

Whr?????......

Show me....WHy don't u f***ing show me...
Take me... Take me to the f***ing store.. whr u got the ballz..to look at my girl...

Whr... Whr the F***....did u get the f***ing ballz.. whr???


I Panicked and I'm lik Costco.....
Got a Jar........... 



Now go to the mirror and try do the f*ck face and d*ck face!!! Muahahahahaaa...

Goodnight y'all!

..... I'm having such a good holiday I don't feel like sleeping!!! :P


One thing I miss Alex.C for is when he says "NOOOoooooo" like the longest "no" you ever heard in your life... (Russell Peters)... Haha!




"You save 50 cents here and maybe you go somewhere else you save another 50 cents, then you have one dollar! Then you take your dollar, you go to the dollar store, you buy something else!"

"Be a man! Do the right thing!"

Monday, June 11, 2012

Am feeling super lazy and sleepy today that I whine the entire Monday away..

Seriously.. who like Mondays?















I know Garfield doesn't...





























Neither do I ... !!!





















Hoping Tuesday will be a more interesting day for Garfield & me!!! ;)

Saturday, October 29, 2011




This is hillarious and it is driving me nuts!!! ;)

























Wuuu.. so true! This I like!
Same as the old saying...
"U treat me good, I treat u good, u treat me bad, I treat u bad"

"If I say what I think, I'm a bitch. If I cry some times, I'm a drama queen. If I have guy friends, I'm a slut. If I stand up for myself, I'm mouthy. Seems like you can't do anything now a days without being labeled. So what, go ahead and label me, see if I care!"




"People's bullshit and fakeness are the main reasons why I like to be alone."

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Scrolling thru some quotes in one of the FB pages and I laugh out loud reading these..
No matter how emotional someone be, they can still be humorous and creative to come out with these!!!

Hahahaaaa...












Monday, October 17, 2011


Some quotes to share.. there are some that made really good sense while some plain funny!! lurve-it~~~


I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.


Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.


The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"


If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass!


Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.


Drunk people run stop signs, high people wait for them to turn green.


Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio


...condom says to the tampon, "You put me out of a job for 1 week a month!" The tampon replies, "When you don't do your job properly, I lose mine for 9 months!"

Friday, September 3, 2010

Pose. Click. Snap!

That's how easy it is to take a photo!

How if there's photoSSSS and requires you to stay under the hot sun for 2-3 hours, and during that time, you keep smiling, pretending to be happily chatting away with your "photoshooting boyfriend"?

We both were so tired and bored of smiling, and we just got to talk about something that makes us laugh. That way, the photos would turn out to look better.

I took the initiative to tell my "bf" a joke. A joke that never fails to make me laugh, regardless of how many times I've been told. Vince did that joke for like 10-20 times, and before he finish talking, I would be laughing away already. So... I decided to tell that joke to make my "bf" laugh, and here it goes..

There are 3 women who break out from the jail.
One redhead, one brunette, and a blondie.
They escaped and while running away from the guards, they found gunny bags in a factory and decided to hide inside it.
Then the guards came and saw these 3 gunny sacks.
Kicked it. Redhead says "meowwwww". Guard goes "Ohh.. it's a cat".
Guard go kicking on the second one. Brunette goes "Woof woof!!!" and guard says "Ahh.. it's a dog".
The guard then kick on the third one. Blondie goes "POTATO!"

After writing this, I'm actually still laughing.. by myself!!!

Too bad my attempt to crack a joke, DID NOT WORK! As my "bf" asked "why she says potato???".

Ah well... good night!!!

Monday, August 3, 2009



1 line humour

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway..

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

[22]
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23] Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

[24]
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!


Tuesday, July 21, 2009


hAve a bLAsT!!!


About Marriage - Part I

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night ......... whether you're here or not."

(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)

************************************

Marriage - Part II

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "


"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"


(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

******************************

Marriage - Part III

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)

******************************************

Marriage - Part IV

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

**************************************

Marriage - Part V The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

MUAHAHAHAHA~

Monday, November 10, 2008

Was kinda free these few days, so I browse thru my mailbox and found this joke that has been sent to me ages ago. I remembered reading this joke before, but a good joke is never too lame to be read more than once~ Enjoy!

The Trial

Defense Attorney: What is your age?

Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to
you?

Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting in the swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sits down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: Why, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just said to him, "Take me, young man! Take me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool!" So that's when I
shot him.

WAHAHAHAAA!!! Hahaha!!! LOL!!!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


If Streamyx provides better service and coverage in Setapak area, I would be doing my thesis now! I need to online so badly to do my long and dreadful research (as claimed by Vince). But now, I can only enter sites like Blogspot and Friendster! Have not been checking my e-mails for weeks now… Sigh~

Birthday coming up soon. Don’t really like birthday ever since my 21st birthday celebration. It was the best, and the last party I’ll ever have. Am already too old to announce my age in a birthday party.

Talking about birthdays, people usually have their ‘birthday expectation’.

While counting down days to their birthday, silently inside them, they have questions such as “What will my parents give me this year? I just got my driving license, so a car perhaps?”.

Those in courting phase, or paktoh already, would be thinking “Will he get me the dress that I’ve been hinting him about?”.

All these questions running inside their mind are actually expectations! Sometimes these expectations lead to surprises, and sometimes disappointments. In my case, I just wish that I don’t have a birthday to celebrate. Cause I can’t help having expectations. Haha!

I just hope that this coming birthday I won’t have to be stranded at home, chatting with people in MSN (who don’t even bother to wish me happy birthday) while sadly gulping down a bowl of instant noodles which taste salty because I “kar liu” with my tears. Not that I have this moment before. It would be so pathetic.. just sucks!!!

I just want to have a simple dinner with my family, and I’m definitely expecting my siblings to get me something nice for once! Haha! Like a Canon IXUS 870 IS!!! Wahahahahaaa~ * grinning with an evil look on the face*

Still couldn’t get to sign in my MSN, Facebook, Yahoo! Mail and Hotmail! If the line didn’t get better tomorrow, all I’m going to do is to flood my blog with silly posts!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dirty jokes to share

**Those underaged, please scroll back up till you see the "close" tab and just wait for upcoming post. Haha!**


Question: Why sperm donation is more expensive rather than blood donation?
Answer: Because it's HANDMADE!!



Question : What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
Answer : Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble.


2 prostitutes (bitches) were in a taxi, on their way home after "work".
Bitch 1 : I smell sperm!!
Bitch 2 : Sorry, I burped!!


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey you! Below 15?! And still reads my blog after the warning?! You better learn to listen eh?!

English is language that is used widely. And it appears to be the most simple and convenient language to communicate. However, people who think that English is not simple enough, invented short forms.

Some of it in fact ease the SMS and MSN users. I don’t mind using btw” for “by the way”, “omg” and my all time favorite is “wtf”. It makes the rude expression of anger a more polite one. There are many more which I used quite often.

Minutes ago, my niece Rachel typed “idts” in our conversation box, and I asked “it’s a short form for?” She said “I don’t think so”. Okay…. the person who invented this short form is one lazy bump. Haha!

Sometimes using short form doesn’t give the same impact/ expression of what you want to convey. An example to portray this kecacatan in short form is “LOL”. As many know, it’s a short form for “laugh out loud”. Instead of using the common laughter expression of “HAHA”, people type “LOL” in SMS and MSN. Well... it's okay with me. All I have to do is imagine that they're laughing.

But the most funny part about “LOL” is that, there are people who actually pronounce it as if it’s a word in English! The scenario I encountered was.. I tell my friend a joke, and instead of him laughing HAHAHA… he said LOL!!! He actually said lol.

As far as I’m concern, there are no such word in dictionary. Well, maybe someone should start suggesting to insert lol in the dictionary as a word and define it as a new form of laughter to replace HAHA.


A short joke just for fun…

Suami : Kenapa Sayang menangis?

Isteri : Saya telah baca sebuah buku. Sad endinglah bang..

Suami : Buku apa?

Isteri : Buku bank abanglah..


My response towards the joke :-

So funny lah! LOL!!!




Creative message on T-shirts for amusement..

* Click on image for a larger version
















Enjoy looking at it?! My favourite is the "The man; The legend".. Haha!

I have my own version of funny T-shirts too! I bought all of it from Bangkok. I save 1 for myself, 1 for Vince and another 1 for Robin. And we, the 3 officially declared sor h*iz decided to wear it together to college. Just another stupid idea to continue with our tradition. What Robin didn't know when he agreed to that idea was, I bought all 3 T-shirts with same color - bright chili red!

When me & Vince went to meet him in the taxi stand, it was already too late for him to back off from the plan. So he has got no choice but to go along with us. Getting out from a red taxi at the college bus stand, with 3 of us wearing bright chili red T-shirt, we felt a little bit of malu lah.. The color looked more outstanding because it's new! We first caught people attention by the bright color, they then observe the printed message on the shirts and then move to see the face of the person who is wearing the shirt! Malu lah when people start staring at us.. There's a moment when we really wanted to cover our face with whatever we have on our hands. But the only thing we could find was buns.. Haha!

But then it was okay when our classmates started to wonder and ask what it's all about. We gave different answers like "later got flash mob, you dunno meh?"... and "nolah, later go work.. this is uniform".. Some of them give us thumbs up!

It was a pretty lame, but still cool and fun idea. I glad we did it, because I'm sure there won't be anybody that will do this with me after college is over. Imagine 3 people wearing chili red T-shirt with obscene message printed on it, in an office! Cannot rite? ... this is a worth remembering prank we did (to ourselves... haha!). Really... no regrets! I had fun!!!



flashing off 'mob' while eating buns



this is one cocky coke!

People : Really ma? 7 inches?!!
Vince : Of course no la... fake one la! Coz mine is 8 inches leh!!!
Us : Swt.... - . - "'


Mine.. cool~ Haha!

We will keep the shirt for a more appropriate occasion. April Fool? Halloween? Since it's red, maybe I'll reserve it for Chinese New Year! Family and relatives jaw gonna drop open for sure!!! Wahahahahaa...